The strange bits....

- I’ve sold composting toilets to gun-toting rednecks in the US and Canada at Sportsman and Cottage shows.
- I’ve answered their “shitty” questions – ie: how to get rid of the flies!
- I was never allowed to mow the lawn – my parents thought I’d cut off my feet!
- I was crowned the teen-mini-golf champion at the course where I worked.
- I’m an honorary Aunt to my best friends three great kids.
- I’ve sold knives (kitchen and hunting/fishing) door to door giving demonstrations in peoples homes.
- I bait my own hook
- I have two best friends – one is a Pakistani, Muslim, Dermatologist. The other is a self-confessed red-neck, father of three who spends his days in Jail – as a guard that is.
- I love to swim in the lake – mostly when the waves are huge.
- I graduated university in secret – and told my parents through an invitation to convocation.
- I refuse to eat veal because of how the calves are treated.
- I took shop in school and liked it much better than “home ec” ‘cause I got to play with the tools!
- When stress is high at work, I’m essentially the office “chaplain” taking people for coffee and a chat to quell the tears.
- I worked for a company called S&M Group (that’s Sales and Merchandising Group – get your mind out of the gutter).
- I have tried Rhönrad – now Google Image that!
- I love to stand in the rain
- I’ve never had a nickname and there are only 2 people on the face of the earth who can call me Kris.
- If there were a trophy for the fastest trophy assembler I would have won it.
- I dated my high school sweetheart until 2nd year university when I found out that slept with six other women while we dated. Then burned down his own business, blamed it on the Mafia, spent 13 months in Jail for fraud. He then married my neighbour and called me on Valentines day to get together “for old times sake.” But I still have the cat he gave me.
- I sing when I think no one is listening
- I had a neighbour once whose middle name was “none” they meant she had none, but you know the government… her Birth Certificate said Heather None Elliot. We called her “Nonnie”
- I refuse to drink coffee, preferring my morning caffeine kick from a nice, cold, diet coke.
- For Lent I’ve decided to make sure that everyone I love, knows it.
- I write poetry when I’m pissed off
- If the poetry doesn’t work, I go for a drive to a little waterfall (Tews falls) in Dundas (the town, not the road).
- I once drove to Webber's with a friend, just for a hamburger… Did I mention we started in Sarnia?
- I look like a cranky Goth-girl in my drivers license photo