faith, money and peace

I had quite an argument with my mom yesterday afternoon - I was at work and couldn't go into it, however the crux of it was that I've all but decided, to quit my job to finish my M.Div full time in September, not January. The news didn't go over well with my mum. She has always been there for me, and even though I'm 31 years old, she still worry about me! I suppose it is her parental right to do so, but it can be incredibly frustrating! I know mum means well, but I don't think she knows how much what she says sometimes hurts. I can call her in great joy, excitement and end the conversation angry, disillusioned and verging on tears. I know she looks out for me and wants me to be happy, but I think she is having a hard time with me taking any risk at all. The thing is... I don't really see a risk!

I didn't go to the pub last night because I had to talk to her and clear it up. She's worried about me, and money. By the time the conversation was over, I had sort of convinced her that there comes a point in time, where to step out in faith, you have to do just that. Step out. Have faith. Now this doesn't come without prayer. It doesn't come without wrestling, struggling and a whole wack of crap that I just don't talk about... but once I finally make a decision, when it feels right, when in my heart of hearts, I'm calmed by the understanding of what I'm doing - what a joy! This didn't calm the situation, but telling her that I have a significant amount of money saved in an RRSP, a pension and some stock options, did.

But the amazing thing is that I just got a call from her at work. She just finished cleaning her first patients teeth. She's been his hygienist for years and they always chat about their kids and family - you know, the same sort of thing that you chat about at the hair dressers... that's what the dentist is like... at least if you see my mum! Her patient was saying he was frustrated, but that he had just stopped himself from telling his 14 year old son off for wanting to to to school without his coat. He figured he was old enough to make his own decisions. Then my mum told him a bit about our little argument, telling him that even at 31 she still wants what's best for me, she told him that I wanted to quit my job and go back to school full time, and that I had told her the night before that I would have to take a leap of faith and believe that I would be able to come up with the funds somehow. He asked what I was studying and when my mum said I was doing my M.Div, you know what he said? He said to get me to write him a letter explaining what I am studying, what my plans are, because he and his wife always like to support people who are perusing the building of the Church and he could probably offer me $500 or $1000 towards my education. It then turns out that he is part of the Anglican parish in Sarnia that I have started going to when I go home to visit my parents.

People have the most uncanny ability to amaze me in the most unsuspecting ways - what a humbling offer. But you know what? The sound of my mum's voice when she told me the story - that was priceless - I think she's going to be OK about the decision and I have a total stranger to thank... truly amazing... Thanks be to God!!!