faith, money and peace

I had quite an argument with my mom yesterday afternoon - I was at work and couldn't go into it, however the crux of it was that I've all but decided, to quit my job to finish my M.Div full time in September, not January. The news didn't go over well with my mum. She has always been there for me, and even though I'm 31 years old, she still worry about me! I suppose it is her parental right to do so, but it can be incredibly frustrating! I know mum means well, but I don't think she knows how much what she says sometimes hurts. I can call her in great joy, excitement and end the conversation angry, disillusioned and verging on tears. I know she looks out for me and wants me to be happy, but I think she is having a hard time with me taking any risk at all. The thing is... I don't really see a risk!

I didn't go to the pub last night because I had to talk to her and clear it up. She's worried about me, and money. By the time the conversation was over, I had sort of convinced her that there comes a point in time, where to step out in faith, you have to do just that. Step out. Have faith. Now this doesn't come without prayer. It doesn't come without wrestling, struggling and a whole wack of crap that I just don't talk about... but once I finally make a decision, when it feels right, when in my heart of hearts, I'm calmed by the understanding of what I'm doing - what a joy! This didn't calm the situation, but telling her that I have a significant amount of money saved in an RRSP, a pension and some stock options, did.

But the amazing thing is that I just got a call from her at work. She just finished cleaning her first patients teeth. She's been his hygienist for years and they always chat about their kids and family - you know, the same sort of thing that you chat about at the hair dressers... that's what the dentist is like... at least if you see my mum! Her patient was saying he was frustrated, but that he had just stopped himself from telling his 14 year old son off for wanting to to to school without his coat. He figured he was old enough to make his own decisions. Then my mum told him a bit about our little argument, telling him that even at 31 she still wants what's best for me, she told him that I wanted to quit my job and go back to school full time, and that I had told her the night before that I would have to take a leap of faith and believe that I would be able to come up with the funds somehow. He asked what I was studying and when my mum said I was doing my M.Div, you know what he said? He said to get me to write him a letter explaining what I am studying, what my plans are, because he and his wife always like to support people who are perusing the building of the Church and he could probably offer me $500 or $1000 towards my education. It then turns out that he is part of the Anglican parish in Sarnia that I have started going to when I go home to visit my parents.

People have the most uncanny ability to amaze me in the most unsuspecting ways - what a humbling offer. But you know what? The sound of my mum's voice when she told me the story - that was priceless - I think she's going to be OK about the decision and I have a total stranger to thank... truly amazing... Thanks be to God!!!

lunch club

Today was our inaugural "lunch club" dining experience. We went to a little place near the office called "Not Just Dim Sum." The food was really good! I've never tried Dim Sum before, so it was new to me. There were a few other things that others had never had, that I have... (squid tentacles & Chinese broccoli) but then as a group, we decided to order something that kinda creeped us all out... Chicken Feet. Definitely NOT my favourite part of the meal... but I do have to grudgingly say...not bad! I did however have a hard time getting this image out of my head....

Next time I'd like to take them for a Hot Pot... mmm.... delish!

Christos Anesti...Alithos Anesti!

Happy Easter to my friends in the Orthodox tradition!
I usually celebrate with them by going to Sunday Vespers at St. Elias

Unfortunately this year I won't be able to go. But I will miss praying with the icons before the service and I will miss their wonderful custom of greeting EVERYONE in the church. It starts off like a receiving line and once you have gone through that line, you take the space on the end. Each person greeting those in the lind says with jubilation in their voice "Christ is risen" the the equally joyful response "Truly he is risen!" and they exchange kisses on the cheeks. I thank them for welcoming us to what is interestingly enough being nick named "Anglican" Vespers - 'cause we Anglicans make up a pretty good chunk of the congregation! Ecuminism can be a great thing.

"Christos Anesti.....Alithos Anesti!"

Ahh.... much better

So that's it.
My papers are all done.
Handed in
Out of my hands.

I feel like a weight has been lifted
I want to sing and dance...
but first I have a date with my broom...
this place is a bit mingy!

I feel like I'm about to be buried under the weight of 10 000 books

Time for a good clear out.

Time to FREECYCLE a whole wack of crap.

You've been warned....

I am slowly going crazy....

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switch

crazy
going
slowly
am I
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Switch.....

I've been sitting in the library for 12 hours and 18 minutes... I finished one paper - but I'm still not done the other one!!! I've got it plotted out... but grrrrrrr..... I think I have to give up for the night...
crap, crap and crap

Who'du thunk planning a course on prayer would result in such unease!

Holy Week

Well – Holy Week has ended – I found myself wondering what to do with myself last night, no church!

The week of church begins on Palm Sunday and culminates in the great Easter Vigil on Saturday night and then a celebratory Easter Sunday. So I was at the church a lot last week. It Started the Friday night before Palm Sunday when I joined the ladies of the Chancel guild in making plam crosses – 450 palm crosses to be exact (or rather approximate since I think final count came out to 453). Saturday morning found me again at the church festuning it with palms. They were everywhere. Behind the altar, around the Paschal candle, behind the hangings, in a huge container in front of the altar, around the wardens wands, on every available surface or hanging space, palm fronds were to be found – including the floor where they were scattered. It was great! Then came Sunday, the blessing of the palms outside on a glorious day in the cemetery – something rather appropriate about that!

The week progressed with services on Monday, Tuesday Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday… that’s a lot of Church.The week gets progressively darker and darker, from the readings to the actual lights in the church and culminates in the foot washing and stripping of the alter on Maundy Thursday, to the bleak mournful cries of a cello on Good Friday, to the jubilant entry of the Paschal Candle – symbol of Christ in our midst is carried in after being lit from the sacred fire at the back of the church at the Vigil on Saturday. Everyone with their candles being lit from the acolytes as they process up behind the cantor who sings “The light of Christ” and we all respond “Thanks be to God” There were about 150 people there – not quite the 450+ crowd that gathered to celebrate on Sunday, but a pretty good turn out!

But all this comes with an adventure.

We were joking at the pub on Saturday after the rehersal about having notified the fire department that we were going to light this bonfire outside the church – just in case. Well – the Vigil began beautifully in darkness with the sound of a single whistle being played in the back ground. Outside the closed doors, the fire was blazing, I was holding the book with the prayers to bless the fire, the priests were there, the cantor had the candle – we were set. After the symbolic knock on the door 3 times, and we opened them to reveal the dark church beyond and those in the church could see the fire. The flames were leaping high in the air and the priests began the prayers. By the third one, a strange noise erupted. High pitched and insistent. Somewhat repetitive, and very annoying… all of our beautiful fire – set off the smoke alarm. We had to shut the doors, put out the fire, light the paschal candle unceremoniously from a bic lighter and process in. What can I say – I guess it was a good thing that we let the fire department know – at least nobody showed up and broke down the door looking for fire during the readings! Despite this, I have to say, standing among people who have become such good friends, singing our hearts out and everyone ringing their bells to “Jesus Christ has Risen Today” makes up for the other bells of the fire alarm – they were just a bit too early to join in the festivities!

Holy week is a real journey, from start to finish and one that I hope everyone has the opportunity to experience.

Love

A very small portion of my latest project...

the whole thing is called Columba's Rock and is a poem written by a friend.

It's around 1200 words... and yes, it's massive! 18x20

I hope you enjoy!

the calm around the storm

Wednesday was an interesting day. The morning started as they always do. Work was work, but nothing particularly out of the ordinary happened. Wednesday was one of those utterly unremarkable days were I just seem to coast through. The woman who I always get into little tussles with was even in good spirits (and though she still refuses to speak to me), the office environment was pretty calm. It was a day that just seemed to get progressively better. Sort of like the surprise you get just before a rainstorm when the light turns that beautiful shade of green and everything just smells earthy. As quickly as that sensation arrives, its gone. For no real reason, but everything goes back to its normal colour. That's what this day was like...

hmm...

On my way home after the Tuesday night services this Holy Week I had to swerve to miss hitting a cat who lay hurt and dying in the middle of the road. I couldn't pull over for a moment, because the adrenaline was rushing through me. I missed him, but only just! Once I could safely turn around, I went back. There was now a line up of cars slowing to DRIVE PAST. No one was stopping to help the poor little dying animal. Who knows how long he had been laying there. You could clearly tell he was somebody's pet. He was really fluffy, black and white, and even in the dim light of the headlights, you could see that he was well taken care of - until now. I pulled over behind a bus, just in time to see it's driver emerge from the doors with a newspaper in her hands to go and see to the cat. It turned out that it was unfortunately already dead. She lovingly picked him up and moved his lifeless body over to the side of the road. She was visibly shaken and with tears in her eyes she started to tell me about how she loved animals. She had 8 cats at home, and wished she could have done something to save the life of this little guy. For every one person who drove past, felt sad and thought 'poor thing', I thank God that there are people in the world that bus driver, who don't just feel sorry for something and continue on with their plans, but when moved by compassion, acted in love to help. I thanked that bus driver for her compassion.

When did the world speed up so much that someone who lay dying on the road is seen as an inconvenience to swerve around, not as a living breathing being in need of help? Pets are someone not just something - just ask the owner who had to wake in the morning to find their friend dead on the front lawn - and then explain death to their children.

End Cancer

I'm going to do it. I've signed up. I've got the shoes. I've started my campaign, and after Holy Week, will start my training!
I've committed to raise $2000.00 for research into breast cancer. And in the words of one of my sponsors - men get breast cancer too, so this is not just to benefit 50% of the population, but everyone.
I've seen the walk go past my condo on my way to church on Sunday morning for the past couple of years. And in my own life, i've seen too many people suffer from this, to not be a part of this walk. Something stikes me every time I see so many people come together, they represent loss and hope walking side by side.

If you're interested, you can sponsor me here:
http://www.endcancer.ca/site/TR?px=1359629&pg=personal&fr_id=1120