of Psalms and limericks

I have absolutely nothing profound or particularly inspiring to say today.  I have been writing tomorrows sermon using the psalms and I was reminded how Psalms are Hebrew poetry.... which lead me to revisit some of my old poetry.... which took me to witty limericks.  Circle of life stuff.  But I have to say that there is something to be said for laughter, so here are some of my favourites.


The hapless church tenor, young Horace,
Had skin that was terribly porous.
Sometimes in the choir
He’s start to perspire
And nearly drown out the whole chorus.
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There was a young lady named Bright
Whose speed was far faster than light
She went out one day
In a relative way
And returned home the previous night.
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A flea and a fly in a flue
were stuck so what could they do?
"Let us fly," said the flea!
"Let us flee," said the fly!
So they flew through a flaw in the flue!
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There was an old man of Darjeeling
Who boarded a bus bound for Ealing
It said on the door
`Don't spit on the floor'
So he stood up and spat on the ceiling
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A wonderful bird is the pelican,
His bill will hold more than his belly-can,
He can take in his beak
Enough food for a week
But I'm darned if I know how the hell-he-can
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There was an old man from Peru,
Who dreamed he was eating his shoe
He awoke in the night
With a dreadful fright,
And found out that it was quite true.
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An epicure dining at Crewe
Found a very large bug in his stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout
And wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one too."
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There once was a vicar from Ryde
Who fell down a sewer and died
Then his silly old sexton
Fell into the next one
And now they’re interred side by side